A few days before our youngest daughter was born prematurely, I had a dream.

I dreamt that we were packing up our campsite, as we were moving on that morning. It was a sunny morning and our campsite was across the street from the ocean. This part of the beach was protected by an out jutting of an island not far from the shore. The sun was shining on the water, that morning, causing it to look a beautiful luminescent green.

My husband had just returned from the beach and for some reason had not brought the tent. So I went to get it. I didn’t see the tent immediately. But I did see the anchoring rope that is used to peg the tent to the ground to keep it from blowing away in the wind. I followed the rope with my eyes and saw that it went into the water. I realized the tent was under water. So I waded into the cool, refreshing, sun lit green water. I was chest deep in the water when I got to it.

The dream was so vivid in my mind when I woke up and the memory of it did not fade.

The next day, at 29 weeks pregnant, I had a significantly abnormal bleed. I rushed to the hospital to find out our baby was not doing well.

When I went into labor three days later, the dream came back to me. It ended up being the place I went to during my contractions. I remembered the verse, in the beginning of the bible (Genesis 1:2), that says “and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters”. Each time a contraction came, I would wade into that sun lit water and take a deep breath, breathing in the Spirit of God and hold Him in as long as I could. It was beautiful and intense. The dream, the water, the Spirit, these are the memories that now linger in my mind.

I also remember a nurse in the OR just before my C-Section whispering in my ear while I was breathing in the Spirit of God. I remember her whispering “You are doing a great job” and she encouraged me to keep breathing.  It was so gentle and so sensitive. She entered into my world so peacefully…

This was my beautiful gift from God for my unexpected premature delivery. I am so thankful for this peaceful dream. Some days I find myself wondering again if God is real. But then I reread my journal and see gifts like this dream throughout the pages and I am reminded why I continue to hold onto hope.