My mom is in a coma. Less than a week ago she went from leading a bible study in her home to being unresponsive in a hospital emergency room. She had a massive brain bleed. I thought she was pretty much gone when I first heard the news. My sisters were all shocked but looking for answers. I, the nurse, knew a “massive brain bleed” and a code blue in the ER were bad bad signs.

Amazingly my mom is holding on. She is in ICU, she has a temporary drain in her head to normalize the pressure. She has a coil plug in her brain so the blood vessel will no longer leak and she is just holding on.  I’m very impressed with her. I’m proud of her. It seems we have a bunch of fighters in this family. Noone gives up easily. I say this thinking our our little daughter who hung on and fought the good fight on life support for her 60 days.

The name of this post is Answers in Dreams. Since my mom has been in the hospital, I have gone through a whole range of emotions. I won’t name them all. In the beginning I fought with where to put my hope. If I prayed to God to save my mom, if I put my whole heart into that prayer, what would happen to me if she did not live. I feared my faith in this loving Creator God might crumble and blow away in the wind. As time has gone by, I realize this God that I love and serve is not that easily forgotten and he does not dissolve if my faith does. He is bigger and greater than me.

after pouring out my heart to my husband before going to sleep, my last phrase was “where is God in all of this?”.

He answered my question in a dream. In my dream my husband and I were just leaving a small community theatre. As we walked down the side walk with a few other patrons I heard someone yell “there he is!!” I looked up ahead and saw a man with an evil grin on his face and a automatic weapon had just come into view from the alley. Immediately my husband and I hit the deck. We lay as flat as we could just off the side walk in the curb. Some other people a bit down the road did this as well. There were other people who remained standing on the sidewalk. I immediately felt a thick protective covering over us. I know it was God. He also covered the other people lying on the curb. The people standing on the side walk he gently lifted up and up. I knew in my dream that the man was shooting. We were covered and protected. Those who were being lifted, were shot but from this perspective they were not suffering. In my dream I thought to my self, this is going to feel like trauma later…

“I will never leave you…” “Nothing can separate us from the love of God”… where can I flee from your Spirit… even there you are with me, your right hand will hold me…”

That is where God is…


update: I started this blog in November and my mom is not in a coma anymore. She is slowly slowly recovering.